Surfer Boy has Nearly Too Much Fun

Just last week, freshy fresh surfer boy Jeff took his land legs, fresh rubber 29ers, and a bottle of chain lube to the trails of Galena in south-central Idaho. J-Dawg, as his closest friends know him, is no stranger to adrenaline-laced outdoor adventures. Just the previous weekend, he regaled his four-person team at the highly competitive and renowned El Doce Endurance Mountain Bike Race. While race data is not available, it’s understood that he most likely finished his 15.2 mile laps faster than one senior-level administrator associate of Jeff’s. Jeff is also well known on most local ski resort slopes along the Wasatch Front as he often wears the most remarkable ski/snowboard (yes, he does both sports) attire to be found.

Jeff began earlier in his demonstration of bad arsery by guiding the crew to one of the gnarliest trails available on the map. It was a steep climb that required some bike hiking even from Jeff. His climbing strength was only trumped by his demonstrated care for the environment and conservation of the trails and forest area. On multiple occasions, he made it a point to ensure that our party understood the importance of wildlife protection and trail density.

As the descent ensued J-Dawg was merely visible long enough to let everyone know where to go and not get lost; we were to go “down”. He blasted off in a puff of trail dust, chewed up and spat out the first berm like a sunflower seed shell, and was out of sight before we could rack our water bottles.

We eventually caught up mid-way down the trail where Jeff awaited us and we all high-fived, exclaimed what a great trail it was, and stuff like that. The weather was perfect in the mid-60s although rain had been a possibility in the forecast and the trail conditions were spectacular-dry hard pack with manicured berms and tabletops. Too often it seems like pleasantness precedes the disasters.

As Jeff blasted off to conquer the final phase of the trail no one could have ever suspected any disaster was forthcoming to anyone on the crew. The weather was spectacular, the trail was great, the muscles were pretty fresh, breakfast digestion was well underway, mothers knew where their children were, and no one was running late for any kind of deadline. But everything was about to change.

Yes, it’s true, most heroes have a weak link and the same is true for our hero. Jeff’s near demise all came about from his deep love of beautiful flowers. As he rounded one of the final curves he couldn’t help but admire the “delicate beauty of the purple wildflowers,” he explained. The wild lupines definitely have a hypnotic allure but it’s extremely rare for an adrenaline junkie to manifest such passionate admiration. Then again, Jeff is not your everyday adventure man. So just like that, as Jeff listened to the wildflower siren song at the very end of the trail, his bike couldn’t forgive such grave inattention and it slide out from under him and off of the trail. Fortunately, he avoided damaging a nearby pine tree (truly unexplainable given how fast he was traveling), and as you can see in the photo, just barely avoided damaging his favorite flower. Even though he didn’t hurt the flower Jeff says this kind of incident shows limits of enjoyment. “I could enjoy the trail, or I could enjoy the flowers but I guess asking for both at the same time was just too much!” Fellow stander byer, Tony Petrone, noted that, “In crazy sports like mountain biking, taking time to smell the roses just shouldn’t be taken literally. Or at least wait until the ride is done man.” Even though it was a close call, Jeff says he’ll be back on the trails next week but is considering options that may help him bridal his floral love. He’s open to input, feel free to email him any suggestions at funflowerlovingmountainbiker@555.com.